I think I’ll
always worry about E getting picked on. I know some kids are more prone to it
than others, and some kids handle it better than others. But I know he’s
different and sometimes kids, mean kids, seek out “easy targets”. As he’s
gotten older, I can see his peers are less tolerant of his behavior.
Well, maybe they just don’t understand it and that’s why. Doesn’t make it
right, but it’s just what some kids do. It’s important that parents, and
it’s up to parents, to let their kids know that everyone’s different and
that’s OK. In his class, he blends in because he’s in a class with other
Autistic kids. They are supervised outside the classroom as well so I
don’t worry about too much at school. But being out and around others I
can see how others perceived him as…. hmmm, rambunctious, for lack of a better
word. Sure lots of kids are, but at 8, he’s probably not as matured for
his age as others.
I can see it
sometimes around other kids his age. He’ll begin waving his hands in front of his face or do his little grunts and the
kids just look at him. He’s not always understood when he talks because
of his Ankyloglossia (commonly known as “tongue tie”, a congenital
oral anomaly which may
decrease mobility of the tongue tip). And when he’s anxious about a
situation, he doesn’t handle it so gracefully. He rarely has a meltdown
in a public place anymore, but he will become less focused, less cooperative
and just plain ornery!
So in getting
ready for the soccer game last night I was already worried that game time for
him was gonna be a bust. He insisted on getting himself ready, which I
like to encourage, but we were running late as it was. The soccer socks
are tight and takes some patience getting on and he won’t let me help.
The laces on his shoes are shorter than his regular shoes, so he can’t make the
big “bunny ears” he’s use to on his regular shoes and he wont let me
help. With all the struggling he gets frustrating so the grunting, the
hitting and yelling begins. But we managed
to get in the car with just enough time to be on time at the park. In the course of the drive he starts pointing
out little things like, “there’s a driveway”… just little things like he’s
trying to break the tension in the car. Then
softly he says “I hate it when I’m crazy”
Aww, that just broke my heart. It
was like he was aware of his actions and didn’t understand them or know how to
deal with it. I said, “I know
buddy. It’s OK. We all get frustrated, we just have to learn
to be patient and calm”. And just like
that, he was back on track and ready for game time.
This year he
was giving his all. Last year was his
first year and so he was just starting to learn the game, but spent more time
chasing his shadow during the games.
But he did try and had a great time.
But this year I could see it was different. He’s really tried to do the drills he was
taught and paid more attention and RAN his little butt off during the games. And on this very day where all was spiraling
downhill just before leaving the house he was having a great time playing. He even gave the ball a good kick and was
very pleased about it! I could see him
looking at me from the field as if to say, “did you see me kick the ball!!?”
with a proud little smile on his face. I
gave him a thumbs up (that’s our sign for “good job!”). At the half all the kids came in for a water
break and pep talk from the coach and as E sat down for a rest another little
boy said, “E, good job!” and gave him a thumbs up. I thought I was going to explode in happy
tears! He said, “thanks” and I was
thrilled. Not all kids are mean. That was actually a meaningful acknowledgment
and I was so proud of him for doing a great job. Another game the same boy told him “E, that
was a good kick!” and it’s just made me feel that this kids was making a real
effort to make E feel part of the team and proud of his efforts he made.
At the end of
the season, we had a bowling party for the kids and guess who got the highest
point of all the kids!! Yes, E!! It was
so neat to watch the boys giving him high 5’s and telling his what a great job
he did. He’s very excited to play now
more than ever, so if he wants to continue playing I’ll continue supporting
him. 