Homework... ugh, homework...

I was thinking about something that happened a few months ago.  I had a sinus infection and it was just making me grumpy. E and I sat down and did some homework sheets... probably shouldn't have done that when I felt so crappy and my patience was already thin. Math was fine, but language is painstaking. At 7 years old his comprehension is very limited sometimes. Most times he guesses. After a half hour dealing with the language assignment and grumpy mom, I realized how defeated he was. I said, the words are hard for you huh? he said, yes. I said the numbers seem easier for you than words, again he said yes. I said, that's OK buddy, we'll work on it and figure something out. he said, thank you. that just melted my heart. My poor guy. We ended homework by doing one more math sheet so that he could end on a high note. Our kiddos just want to have a sense of accomplishment...don't we all? <3
It's so important to have patience with any child, and it can be so difficult.  I don't see my self as a patient person, so I really need to work on that.  Just gotta remember to breath sometimes.  For some reason, things really start to click for E just before the school year is about to end.  Even the teacher notices.  He tries so hard and although he may not get the best test scores, I know he tries.  He talks so much now, in just the last couple of months too.  So he may not lead the pack, but he's not going down with a fight :)  Since he's in a special day program, he gets the opportunity to go to ESY (extended school year - summer school), but that doesn't start for another couple of weeks.  I have some work sheets that we can practice together in between some summer time fun :)  
love my guys! 

I fear my youngest son is growing up too fast!

At 3 years old I could already see that D recognized there were some things E needed help with. Autism is not an easy thing for anyone. But at this tender young age, D has become his brother's helper. It's wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time. D is 5 now and I want him to have a childhood, but I can tell he's gonna be the man of the house. E's diagnosis of Autism is high functioning, however some tasks prove to be quite challenging for all of us.  Potty training was the hardest. But he can write his name, he's speaking in sentences, he's enjoying school and is actually mainstreamed into a traditional class room everyday for about an hour.  But sometimes there are meltdowns and tantrums (not as often anymore, yay!). He can be quite excitable and quite loud (usually due to something on tv that he's watching). And when E gets too loud D will sometimes turn off the TV and say, "E, no yelling!" Or when E is dropped off at school, D will remind him "be a super star!", and you better believe he reports to me if the teacher told Grammy that E was not behaving in class
Yes, little D doesn't take this role he's given himself lightly, but sometimes I need to remind him to just be a kid and that I'm the mommy.

Changing your prospective

As I've been reading Temple Grandin's book, The Way I See It, I have uncovered things I've never thought of before.  Like my child's limitations...oh I've thought about the, trust me.  But it is so easy for me to focus on the limitations, not because I don't see positives in him, but because I'm so focused on what I can do to help.  As she says in her book, "There is often too much emphasis in the world of Autism on the deficits of these children and not enough emphasis on developing the special talents that many of them posses".  To that I say AMEN!  I'm not saying I will overlook these developmental deficiencies, but I will make a commitment to turn a portion of my focus on what he CAN do.  Building on their talents can help them develop employable skills.  It can expand on their socialization and independence.  This is all we want for any of our kids, on the spectrum or not.  So it's time to change the prospective on what Autisic children are capable of!

Sure, it gets to be too much sometimes...

My name is Lisa. I'm a single mom of two boys and my oldest son has mild/moderate autism. I work full time so I have plenty on my plate managing both work and home and fulfilling the needs of both my boys. Juggling it all can be challenging, but never dull! To make things more interesting, my co-parent seemed to be in denial at times because he didn't seem to fully accept the limitation our son has.  But he's gotten a little better.

Some days I'm on the verge of tears, but my boys keep me up beat and going.

I knew very early on he was autistic. Before he was even diagnosed. I saw many characteristic in him that were similar to my cousin's child that has sever autism

When he was 2 he was not yet talking and was having meltdowns over not being able to communicate. To the point that he was bang his head on the floor. We learned sign language and that help A LOT! Since then, with the help of Regional Center, he was getting Early Intervention, Speech therapy and OT. Right now he is in 2nd grade and in the Special Day program at an LAUSD school and is receiving Speech, OT and AEP. I also looked into ABA (applied behavior analysis)  Why behavior? He yells, a lot. And not really out of anger. He is very excitable and it can be overwhelming at times. Also, discipline. It can be pretty difficult for an autistic child to comprehend cause and effect and consequences. When I am trying to discipline he laughs uncontrollably and it can be pretty frustrating. Then I find that I get frustrated with myself for not having more patience.

Sound familiar?  You are NOT alone

Earplugs for church

Yes it's true... we take earplugs to church.  At lunch today I took my book with me, "The Way I See It", by Temple Grandin, and was reading about how growing up she was put into social situations that we not always comfortable for her due to sensory overload, and one of the examples was going to church which made me think about our own struggles with social situations and sensory overload and how they go hand in hand a lot of times.

At Universal Studio's watching the Waterworld show

I wish I had thought about this early on in other situations, such as restaurants, movies, fireworks displays, but early on in the Autism world, I wasn't always prepared for situations.  Oh, I thought I was, but as you begin to realize, you learn new techniques every day with helping your child cope.  We got some passes for Universal Studios last year and the first few trips I realized, my son is not going to get use to this.  I thought OK, once or twice and he'd get use to the noises of the shows, the constant chatter of people all around, but he wasn't.  Then one day on our superstore visit, I saw them: earplugs (insert angelic music and beam of light here).  Could they work?  Could they do the trick for the stress of sensory overload?  Worth a shot... we took them home.  Then on our next trip we took the earplugs, and whaddya know, they did the trick. So now we take the ear plugs anywhere I think we'll need them... including church.  I just recently introduced the boys to church and didn't think anything of it...I was unprepared!  I could see the meltdown starting.  Several times my mom took him outside so he could calm down.  But something about it was making him uncomfortable and he was in tears and clinging to me thru most of the whole service.  Maybe it was the murmuring sound of the collective voices.  Even the music, which he usually responds to well, was not helping.  In fact, it seemed to be adding to the situation.  So the next time we went to church, which he was already resisting (surely because his first experience was negative for him), I took the earplugs.  I said, "you can use your earplugs today, OK?"  That seems to give him some relief.  When we got to church he immediately asked me to put them in.  Ahhhhhh, it worked!  And just like that, church is no longer stressful for him.  So it may be just one more thing I have to carry around in my bag, but oh so worth it 'cause you just never know!

The grass is greener...

 Ahhhhh, remember those days of running bare foot thru the grass as a kid.  I used to love that.  Heck I still do.  Spring is here and it time for fresh green grass between the toes.   

 But the feeling of grass was something E had to over come.  His sensitivity to touch, sounds, smells can make for a stressed out kid.  It's been 5 years of on going OT and he has definitely come a long way.  He'd always keep his shoes on, sit in a chair or on a blanket on the grass but look at him now.  It may seem like a small accomplishment, but it really is a victory for E. 

E gets an outstanding student award! YAY!