The grass is greener...

 Ahhhhh, remember those days of running bare foot thru the grass as a kid.  I used to love that.  Heck I still do.  Spring is here and it time for fresh green grass between the toes.   

 But the feeling of grass was something E had to over come.  His sensitivity to touch, sounds, smells can make for a stressed out kid.  It's been 5 years of on going OT and he has definitely come a long way.  He'd always keep his shoes on, sit in a chair or on a blanket on the grass but look at him now.  It may seem like a small accomplishment, but it really is a victory for E. 

E gets an outstanding student award! YAY!

Recognize the signs

No one likes to think there is something wrong with their child.  See, that!! "wrong".  That's your first mistake.  There is nothing "wrong" with your child.  You have to change your way of thinking.  You child is unique and just like everyone else has their own way of thinking and learning.
The list below are signs that your child may be autistic.   How do I know?  Because my son is.  He is high functioning autistic.  Autism is a very wide spectrum and not all autistic kids are alike.  But because my cousin's son is autistic, I recognized some of the characteristics in my own child.  I can see it in other kids too.  I've been around this too long not to.  If you feel your child might have some of these characteristic then get it checked out.  You are doing a disservice if you don't.  And it may not be autism; it could be some other disorder or learning disability.  Professionals can help you with ways to aid your child's learning and development in a way they can understand  Don't worry about what people think! That's what we teach our kids, right?  Isn't your child more important than someone else's ignorance?   

In E's case, these are some of this signs I noticed and still notice today:

• Very little or no eye contact.
• Tends to get too close when speaking to someone (lack of personal space).  *His speech teacher just told me of a great idea she is doing in the class room to help with this!  Hula hoops!  This way kids have a visible barrier to help them understand.
• Responds to social interactions, but does not initiate them.  I see this at gathering or at a park, he won't usually go up to someone without some prompting, but he's getting better
• Prefers to be alone, aloft or overly-friendly.
• Frequent gas (flatulence, burping) or throwing up.
• Difficulty understanding jokes, figures of speech.
• Difficulty reading facial expressions and body language.  This is where my patience runs thin.  When disciplining he laugh uncontrollably.  It's almost like he's unaware.  It drives me nuts, but so I would us visual aids for this sometimes (pictures of happy, sad, unhappy faces).  Now if I use the word "scold" (do I have to scold you?) it usually makes him stop laughing.  It's like he knows when I use that word I mean business...Whatever he thinks it is, it helps.  Just gotta find what works.  
• Difficulty understanding the rules of conversation.
• Aversion to answering questions about themselves.  He is getting better at this.
• Gives spontaneous comments which seem to have no connection to the current conversation.
• Seems unable to understand other peoples' feelings.
• Finds it easier to socialize with people that are older or younger, rather than peers of their own age.
• Unaware of/disinterested in what is going on around them.
• Minimal acknowledgement of others.
• Abnormal use of pitch, intonation, rhythm or stress while speaking.
• Speech is abnormally loud or quiet.
• Repeats last words or phrases several times.
• Often uses short, incomplete sentences.  Although since the beginning of this school year this has improved so much
• Pronouns are often inappropriately used.
• Difficulty understanding directional terms (front, back, before, after).
• Ritualistic or compulsive behavior patterns (sniffing, licking, watching objects fall, flapping arms, spinning, rubbing clothes).
• Fascination with rotation.
• Play is often repetitive.
• Quotes movies or video games. (Echolalia)
• Frustration is expressed in unusual ways. E will sometimes express by biting, hitting, headbanging.
• Feels the need to fix or rearrange things.
• Transitioning from one activity to another is difficult.
• Difficulty attending to some tasks.
• Gross motor skills are developmentally behind peers (riding a bike, skating, running).
• Fine motor skills are developmentally behind peers (hand writing, tying shoes, scissors).
• Fear (phobia) for no apparent reason.  Along with not being able to communicate exactly why he feels this way can be frustrating for him.
• Verbal outbursts.
• Unexpected movements (running out into the street).
• Difficulty sensing time (Knowing how long ten minutes is or three days or a week).
• Difficulty waiting for their turn (such as in a line).
• Causes injury to self (biting, banging head). 
• Sensitivity to sounds, textures (touch), tastes, smells or light.  I take a pair of earplugs if I know we're going to a place where too much sound will be involved (amusement park, movies, restaurants)
• Difficulty with loud or sudden sounds.  No 4th of July celebrations for us!
• Inability to perceive potentially dangerous situations.
• Unusually high pain tolerance. This one concerns me a lot.  Along with no awareness of danger can be a recipe for disaster)
• Intolerance to certain food textures, colors or the way they are presented on the plate (one food can’t touch another).  He's getting better, but can be a very picky eater!
• Laughs, cries or throws a tantrum for no apparent reason.
• Resists change in the environment (people, places, objects).
• An emotional incident can determine the mood for the day - emotions can pass very suddenly or are drawn out for a long period of time.
• Becomes overwhelmed with too much verbal direction.
• Tends to either tune out or break down when being reprimanded. (this is a tough one for me, he laugh uncontrollably when I am trying to discipline)
• Excellent rote memory in some areas.
• Difficulty with reading comprehension (can quote an answer, but unable to predict, summarize or find symbolism).
• Difficulty with fine motor activities (coloring, printing, scissors, gluing).
• Short attention span for most lessons.
• Resistance or inability to follow directions.
• Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another in school.
• Walks on toes.  He's outgrown this, but still tends to from time to time.
• Difficulty changing from one floor surface to another (carpet to wood, sidewalk to grass).
• Appearance of hearing problems, but hearing has been checked and is fine.

So you may be saying to yourself, what kid doesn't have some of these?   Heck, for that matter what adults don't have some of these.  But it's different.  I can't explain how, but it is.  I guess you have to be a parent to understand.  For E, there so many steps that I have to take when it comes to the simplest tasks that most people wouldn't even think twice about.  I know the ability (and limitation) of both my kids and each one is cared for in a way that is best for them as individuals.  When friends see E they say, I wouldn't have guess he's autistic.  That makes me feel like I'm doing something right :)

"Fixing" Autism

Probably one of the most moving videos you will ever see. See this dad's touching video and have some tissues ready!

Don't be a bully!

This appeared on my FB feed today.  It is from the Autism Speaks FB page:  "Unfortunately, 60% of children with special needs experience severe bullying. We’re proud to be part of the community promoting the new documentary film Bully to raise awareness about how bullying affects children with special needs, like autism. Check out specialneeds.thebullyproject.com to learn more, and find out what you can do to help our children live in a bully free world."

I would be lying if I said I don't worry about this.  I really do.  I've seen how other kids, even some of his own cousins, look annoyed with him.  They don't understand his way and will tell him to "shut up" or give him a look.  It breaks my heart.  But I stay calm and just remove him from the situation.  Thankfully he's not aware that their words are action are insensitive.  One day he may, and I will be there for him. But you can help!  PLEASE educate your children. We can't be with them 24/7 to protect then or to make sure they do the right thing.  All we can do is give them the tools and the guidance to make good decisions when we're not around.

Here are some more articles on this subject:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-204_162-57406540/survey-finds-63-of-children-with-autism-bullied/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/28/autism-bully-aspberger_n_1385603.html

http://www.livescience.com/19304-bullying-autism-asperger.html

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2012/03/26/kids-autism-bullied/15242/

When it all changed..

Little E.  He was always such a happy baby.  Full of smiles all the time.  He seemed to hit his milestone right on mark, if not sooner.  Sitting up and crawling before 6 months, walking before his first birthday.  Except for talking.  At 2 he still was not talking, just using hand gesture and making sounds.  But it got to the point where we would start banging his head on the floor and having tantrums.  Inconsolable.  We didn't know what to do.  At his 2 year check up, his pediatrician referred us to Regional Center.  She said they have programs that could help.  At least we had some direction.  I am so thankful that she suggested this.  We did start teaching him Sign Language and this did help is tantrums and head banging.  I honestly think he was just frustrated that he could not communicate with us.  Couldn't say he thirsty or tell us what he wanted to drink, or that he was hungry or wanted something.  Sign Language was a turning point.  He was now at least able to communicate so that was a relief for all of us.  By this time we were able to get an evaluation going for Regional Center and that was such a blessing.  They determined that he would need Early Intervention, Speech Therapy and OT (Occupational Therapy).  This was no easy task and it was a lengthy process.  A series of tests and interviews, forms to fill out, question after question.  But you know, when it's your child, you do it.  All of it.  What could be more important than your child's future.  It is definitely a commitment that will shape the development of your child and is not to be taken lightly.  They people they have for these services are AMAZING!  I don't know how they do it.  They work for you and with you.  They come to your house morning, afternoon, night, weekends, whatever you need.  They realize that people have work and personal commitments.  They work around you and your schedule.  They are overloaded with work due to a shortage of specialist in their fields.  But they get it done without complaint.  I can't imagine what it is like now that Autism is one the rise.  It is incredible the work that are expected to do and get done.  And this has only just begun...

He's perfect!

Little E

D and E.  My loves of my life

10 fingers, 10 toes…that's all you really worry about right.  What more could a parent ask for.  He seems normal, looks normal, he's healthy.  Perfect in every way.  Sight on scene, there would be nothing to indicate to you that your child will be diagnosed with Autism.  1 in 110?  No, that number just went down to 1 in 88.  But when you think about it, who doesn't have Autistic tendencies?  Still not the same growing up in a world where you are subjected to tests, evaluations… people, including family members, asking you, "what's wrong with him?"  What the hell does that mean?  That used to make me so made… still does.  "He's Autistic; what’s your excuse?" is what I wanted to say.  People can be so mean without even knowing it.  It's called ignorance with a dash of denial.  The world hasn't changed people.  Autism has existed for many years, you just didn't realize it.  I don't have time for the how's and why's, I just need to do for my son now.  What will help him in his daily life?  How can I help him to grow into an independent person of this society?  It's what I want for both my boys.  It's a big scary world out there.  But we'll get thru it.